Anyway, today was my first Herceptin/non chemo treatment. Except for the fact that I need to keep remembering that "I" am in mostly in charge of keeping my treatment schedule on track, it went fine. Except for the fact that I waited for bloodwork (which I didn't have to have) and then waited for the Dr. to sign off on the Taxotere (that I've finished), all went smoothly. Next time, I'll make sure I remember to let the desk know exactly what I'm supposed to be getting as soon as I get there - rather than waiting 1/2 an hour only to say "but I'm not suppossed to have that this week", they look it up and say "oh, right". But all I have is time on my hands right now so I can't complain much. When I get back to work it will be more of an issue to try and get the schedule a little less drawn out. Also found out that I really am tired since my blood counts are actually a bit lower than 3 weeks ago - not unusual due to the accumulating effect of the chemo but should start to rebound and move higher over the next 8 weeks, therefore, more energy! I also have low/normal blood pressure (which I've always known) so that doesn't help.
Anyway, enough medical stuff. I met up with Sara and Emily this afternoon and we did a bit more Christmas shopping. Poor M's suffering from the remains of a cold and cough and was fine for the first 1/2 hour but then showed her true 'terrible 2' colours and wasn't having much fun for the rest of the expedition - sitting in the shopping cart is equivalent to torture it seems - she wants to 'me walk' but it's like walking with a darting gekko! Sara had that typical 'frazzled Mom' look on her face, especially after Emily was playing "on the chair/off the chair" in McDonald's (she wanted lunch and then ate nothing!) and ended up on her head upside down between the chair and the wall. No blood or major catastrophe but that signalled the end of our shopping day. At least until the alarm went off when we were leaving and the ancient "Santa-greeter" decided all our stuff needed to be inspected and he disappeared with only 1 of 5 bags for what seemed like forever. Only to say it was OK and when the alarm went off again and not to pay any attention and just keep going.... duh! Hopefully our predicted 'Snowmaggedon' won't be as bad as they say tomorrow and I can head to the mall to maybe even finish????? A story for another day!
So, like, I'm WAITING already?........
Waiting, to feel like myself, whatever that is. I know, I'm dreadfully impatient. I can handle the prickly head, the no eyebrows or eyelashes, the runny nose and eyes. But if anyone knows where my real tastebuds are, can you please return them?
Dave and I spent 4 days in the Land of Mouse (Orlando), just returning in the wee hours today. We had a fabulous trip across Florida just to have dinner at one of our favourite places, Frenchie's Rockaway Grill on the beach in Clearwater. Nothing like watching the sunset and having dinner right on the beach with the warm breeze reminding you that only yesterday you were freezing your butt off! I figure my 'taste-o-meter' is at about 80% but still not enough to risk wasting a good glass of wine or beer just in case. However, the Cajun scallops Dave ordered were pretty good and my beloved grouper sandwich and clam chowder were good enough that I ate most of it. Other things though, still can't cut it and it's sure disappointing when you're all ready for something mouth watering that doesn't taste just quite right. Oh well, I blew all sensibility out of the water and did some major shopping for the babies for Christmas - I love being able to buy spring clothes in December! Orlando's pretty high on the 'tacky' side with everything bowing to the Lord of Disney but you can actually buy stuff without Mickey on it if you look hard enough. We had some fun times with the racing group from Ontario that were at the show and I finally decided that I NEVER want to live in Florida... South Carolina for me all the way. After landing last night after midnight and walking what seemed like from Windsor through the terminal, we finally got home about 2:15am and crashed, but good! I was sorry I didn't have the energy for the drive to Cayuga for the kids Christmas party but we did manage to get to the local market and get a Christmas tree to put up tonight after Dave gets home from hockey - I'll do some pleading and get him to light a fire while we decorate it and then - maybe - I'll start to feel Christmas-y. This week will be my week to get into the spirit, wrap some
presents, write Christmas cards and finish my shopping, I hope! My next Herceptin treatment is Thurs but they tell me there are no side efffects with this stuff on it's own - I'm counting on that! Well, better bring some boxes of decorations upstairs and get ready for the big transformation!!!!
Dave and I spent 4 days in the Land of Mouse (Orlando), just returning in the wee hours today. We had a fabulous trip across Florida just to have dinner at one of our favourite places, Frenchie's Rockaway Grill on the beach in Clearwater. Nothing like watching the sunset and having dinner right on the beach with the warm breeze reminding you that only yesterday you were freezing your butt off! I figure my 'taste-o-meter' is at about 80% but still not enough to risk wasting a good glass of wine or beer just in case. However, the Cajun scallops Dave ordered were pretty good and my beloved grouper sandwich and clam chowder were good enough that I ate most of it. Other things though, still can't cut it and it's sure disappointing when you're all ready for something mouth watering that doesn't taste just quite right. Oh well, I blew all sensibility out of the water and did some major shopping for the babies for Christmas - I love being able to buy spring clothes in December! Orlando's pretty high on the 'tacky' side with everything bowing to the Lord of Disney but you can actually buy stuff without Mickey on it if you look hard enough. We had some fun times with the racing group from Ontario that were at the show and I finally decided that I NEVER want to live in Florida... South Carolina for me all the way. After landing last night after midnight and walking what seemed like from Windsor through the terminal, we finally got home about 2:15am and crashed, but good! I was sorry I didn't have the energy for the drive to Cayuga for the kids Christmas party but we did manage to get to the local market and get a Christmas tree to put up tonight after Dave gets home from hockey - I'll do some pleading and get him to light a fire while we decorate it and then - maybe - I'll start to feel Christmas-y. This week will be my week to get into the spirit, wrap some
presents, write Christmas cards and finish my shopping, I hope! My next Herceptin treatment is Thurs but they tell me there are no side efffects with this stuff on it's own - I'm counting on that! Well, better bring some boxes of decorations upstairs and get ready for the big transformation!!!!
I'm Done!!!
Just a quick note to day that my final chemo treatment is OVER! Kathleen, Dan and Sara came with me today to celebrate this final step in this part of the journey. Oh, and my beautiful little Bear 'Hope' that Jaclyn, Rawyn and Rion gave me was there too to make the day complete. Time now to start the recovery process and get myself back to good health, good emotions and the ability to get back to my friends and family socially! Thanks for all your good wishes, they surely helped along the way!
Filling the void....
Dear Father (or Mother), it's been almost 21 days since my last post. No offence to the Catholics out there. In fact I've always envied them the act of Confession... as a Presbyterian, I never really felt I had something quite so concrete to bare my soul and get some direct forgiveness in person. I'd better stop before I dig the hole any deeper.
It's been an eventful 3 weeks of feeling more tired than I can ever remember, some rough days in the beginning after the treatment, up and down emotions, missed celebrations, wonderful celebrations and, most importantly the run-up to tomorrow - my final chemo treatment. Waaaay back in July when I knew this would be starting I was blase, confident I could withstand anything, anticipating that I'd have a few months to enjoy life, visit with my grandchildren and get some of those neglected projects out of the way. The Goddess of Health has brought me back to earth with a bang and it didn't exactly turn out that way. I've done my share of whining, complaining, crying and whinge-ing - that was my Grandmother's word and I always loved it - 'ach, stop yer winge-ing' in an Irish accent never needed explaining. There are many who have had more difficult experiences than me and I can only say that in my sane moments I thank God and all my lucky stars that it's not been worse than it has. But, never having been sick before, it's taken it's toll and forced me to understand that sometimes you need to get worse to get better. So here I am - the night before the final #6. Grateful that this part of the journey will be over but nervous about 'what's next'. Oh, not the surgery, I can deal with that part of it knowing that it's all for ensuring the best case going forward. But it's the rest of the wondering... did the chemo work? Will I always be wondering 'what's next'? I hope not. I'm generally ridiculously optimistic by nature and hope that, along with my general feeling of 'feeling good' that that is one of the first things to return. Dan's coming with me tomorrow and , hopefully, Sara... Emy has come down with the dreaded pink-eye again so we'll have to see if Sara's able to make it. Whether Kathleen can get the day off is still up in the air. Every one of the kids has been with me at least once and have been pillars of support to me both directly and behind the scenes. Never underestimate the powers of your adult children to know what's going on and ensure things get done. Dave's been my punching bag, shoulder to cry on, nurse, errand boy and strength through all of this as well - he's been holding it all together in some semblance of normalcy when nothing's normal. My sister is right there lurking in the background, ready to drop everything and jump in at a moment's notice. Luckily nothings been drastic enough to have to resort to that. I enjoy our goofy phone conversations and family catchup calls. All my friends keep sending me lovely messages, cards, e-mails and words of encouragement.
So here we go... my committment is to keep my posts from now on about recovery not symptoms and side effects. As Dan and Laurie keep telling me, 'it's all good' and I have lots of positives to look forward to and that's my plan.
And thank you Bob for letting me know that my little article you delightfully included in 'Performance in Motion' has become an international traveller!!!!!
It's been an eventful 3 weeks of feeling more tired than I can ever remember, some rough days in the beginning after the treatment, up and down emotions, missed celebrations, wonderful celebrations and, most importantly the run-up to tomorrow - my final chemo treatment. Waaaay back in July when I knew this would be starting I was blase, confident I could withstand anything, anticipating that I'd have a few months to enjoy life, visit with my grandchildren and get some of those neglected projects out of the way. The Goddess of Health has brought me back to earth with a bang and it didn't exactly turn out that way. I've done my share of whining, complaining, crying and whinge-ing - that was my Grandmother's word and I always loved it - 'ach, stop yer winge-ing' in an Irish accent never needed explaining. There are many who have had more difficult experiences than me and I can only say that in my sane moments I thank God and all my lucky stars that it's not been worse than it has. But, never having been sick before, it's taken it's toll and forced me to understand that sometimes you need to get worse to get better. So here I am - the night before the final #6. Grateful that this part of the journey will be over but nervous about 'what's next'. Oh, not the surgery, I can deal with that part of it knowing that it's all for ensuring the best case going forward. But it's the rest of the wondering... did the chemo work? Will I always be wondering 'what's next'? I hope not. I'm generally ridiculously optimistic by nature and hope that, along with my general feeling of 'feeling good' that that is one of the first things to return. Dan's coming with me tomorrow and , hopefully, Sara... Emy has come down with the dreaded pink-eye again so we'll have to see if Sara's able to make it. Whether Kathleen can get the day off is still up in the air. Every one of the kids has been with me at least once and have been pillars of support to me both directly and behind the scenes. Never underestimate the powers of your adult children to know what's going on and ensure things get done. Dave's been my punching bag, shoulder to cry on, nurse, errand boy and strength through all of this as well - he's been holding it all together in some semblance of normalcy when nothing's normal. My sister is right there lurking in the background, ready to drop everything and jump in at a moment's notice. Luckily nothings been drastic enough to have to resort to that. I enjoy our goofy phone conversations and family catchup calls. All my friends keep sending me lovely messages, cards, e-mails and words of encouragement.
So here we go... my committment is to keep my posts from now on about recovery not symptoms and side effects. As Dan and Laurie keep telling me, 'it's all good' and I have lots of positives to look forward to and that's my plan.
And thank you Bob for letting me know that my little article you delightfully included in 'Performance in Motion' has become an international traveller!!!!!
The light at the end of the tunnell!
5 down, 1 to do. Hard to believe but I'm very glad to be looking at the back end of this adventure. Not that it's done. I'll need to get the Herceptin infusion every 3 weeks but that's a hormone and really has no side effects but for some manageable fatigue. I can build it into my regular schedule. I'll also need to take another pill for up to 5 years but that's OK too. Tired today but just laying around, reading and watching TV between snoozes. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a good day and I can get Miss Daisy to Bradford to get her hair done and out for lunch. Kathleen and Jess are picking Dave up at the airport for me so that is one trip I won't have to make - it sure will be good to have him home. Sara was a star and got me to my treatment, looked after me well and is my general morale booster. Off to the CanAm end of season banquet in Cayuga I hope on Sunday with a chance to see Dan, Laurie, Rion and the girls - that will definitely be a treat. Things are definitely looking better and my goal will be to stay away from all stray bugs over the next weeks.
Nothing like a sunny Sunday to boost your spirits!
AND the Leafs won, AND the Raptors won! Dave's in Las Vegas this week at the automotive industry's biggest trade show of the year and he'll have a great time. He'll probably wear out a pair of shoes but the the friends he'll meet, connections they'll make and general 'car talk' is a once a year event. I'm laying low, trying to keep healthy and prepping my head for Treatment #5 on Thurs. Since being so sick after the last one (though it had nothing to do with the treatment other than making my immune system defenseless) my BRAIN is gearing up for another miserable time. Mind over matter and that's my job this week - not to let it get to me and feel good. Lot's happening over the next weeks to be ready for - Job Skill's 20th Anniversary celebration (I even bought something new to wear when I was away!), the Twisted Lemon 'France' wine class on the 22nd, babysitting my darling grandson on the 15th, 4 birthdays (Chris, today, Sylvia on the 17th (94!!), Laurie on the 21st and Emy on the 30th. Wow, November has ended up being our busiest b'day month! And then, the grand finale I hope, my final chemo session on the 27th... that will be HUGE! As of December 1st, my pledge is to spend no more time talking about my body, how I feel or anything other than what I'm doing to re-energize myself and rebuild my flabby, out of shape self over the next 6 months. As for today, I plan to enjoy some of this sunshine, put away some outside furniture and bask in what's left of fall.
One little step at a time.
Feeling a bit better today. The general achiness and stuffiness from the cold seem to have finally moved off - thank goodness! Still have the problems with my mouth and talking is painful so I don't. My lips would only be alluring to a sex-starved alligator. Dave brought me ice cream and creamsicles last night and made me a protein-packed milkshake so that went down nice and easy. I know he's concerned that I'm not eating but it's just been really hard. Being 'sick' on top of the treatment side effects was not something I'd ever anticipated and it's been tough - but I feel my optimistic self clawing its way to the surface again. It will be SO NICE to be able to get out, maybe see some of my friends, talk to my family on the phone and maybe even GET OUT OF MY PYJAMAS AND TOQUE! Dave will especially be glad to see that I'm sure even though he laughs at the toque - it's his after all!! I feel like Rip Van Winkle though. I came home from vacation, had a treatment, felt icky for a couple of days, then got sick for 10 days and now it's WINTER!!! What the heck happened to fall in the middle? And Friday's Halloween and I don't even have a pumpkin! In all my life I don't ever remember not having a pumpkin for Halloween. Come hell or high water I will get out of this damned house and get one for Friday - even if it's not carved I don't care.
The funniest thing we've been monitoring over the past weeks has been the stupid leaf garland I have hanging around the front door. It looks really nice but likes to fly off in the wind and we then have to figure out where it's landed. It's been at the neighbours, in the pine tree at the end of the yard, under the car and - after last nights bluster and blow - is now wrapped about 20' up in the maple tree BEHIND the house... the thing has a life of it's own and I think will stay there until spring, stupid thing.
Time for another creamsicle. I'm sure next week will be much better so look out! I'll be back!
The funniest thing we've been monitoring over the past weeks has been the stupid leaf garland I have hanging around the front door. It looks really nice but likes to fly off in the wind and we then have to figure out where it's landed. It's been at the neighbours, in the pine tree at the end of the yard, under the car and - after last nights bluster and blow - is now wrapped about 20' up in the maple tree BEHIND the house... the thing has a life of it's own and I think will stay there until spring, stupid thing.
Time for another creamsicle. I'm sure next week will be much better so look out! I'll be back!
I know I'm always accused of being 'ever the optimist'...
... but not this week. I somehow picked up a cold last Fri. I'd been feeling better and actually managed to get out to get some things done over a couple of days including getting Dave's mom to the hairdresser and for lunch. Regardless of my situation, she depends pretty much on me to get out of the house and not feel like a hermit. All her 'drivers' seem to have gone by the wayside so I try at least once a week to get her to Bradford, lunch and anything else she needs to do... and it's a nice afternoon!
However, by Friday night I knew I was coming down with something. My nose was running like a tap, I was sneezing like crazy and Sat/Sun it hit me hard. I did keep taking my temperature and it's only gone over 38C once (today) and that was probably just an anomaly. My real problem is my nose and my mouth. My nose is so raw it bleeds when I blow it and my mouth and lips are canker-city making it really hard to eat. I did call the clinic and they said my body is just down on its defences and will have to work harder and longer to get better. I haven't poked my head out the door since Friday and I'm feeling like a mushroom - and have about as much energy as one. Also, this is one of the most important few days (workwise) in the sector I work in. Not to go into details but there's a huge amount of work that needs to be done to position organizations like the one I work for for the next stage and I've been reading all the documentation that needs to be prepared. Nothing I can do about it but I can certainly feel guilty about not being there to assist and be part of the whole process. Everyone will be just fine without me but it's hard not being part of something this important for an organization you feel so strongly about.
Hopefully I'll be feeling better by the time Dave leaves for Las Vegas on Saturday. I'll be really jealous knowing he's spending a week in the sun and warmth 'working'!
However, by Friday night I knew I was coming down with something. My nose was running like a tap, I was sneezing like crazy and Sat/Sun it hit me hard. I did keep taking my temperature and it's only gone over 38C once (today) and that was probably just an anomaly. My real problem is my nose and my mouth. My nose is so raw it bleeds when I blow it and my mouth and lips are canker-city making it really hard to eat. I did call the clinic and they said my body is just down on its defences and will have to work harder and longer to get better. I haven't poked my head out the door since Friday and I'm feeling like a mushroom - and have about as much energy as one. Also, this is one of the most important few days (workwise) in the sector I work in. Not to go into details but there's a huge amount of work that needs to be done to position organizations like the one I work for for the next stage and I've been reading all the documentation that needs to be prepared. Nothing I can do about it but I can certainly feel guilty about not being there to assist and be part of the whole process. Everyone will be just fine without me but it's hard not being part of something this important for an organization you feel so strongly about.
Hopefully I'll be feeling better by the time Dave leaves for Las Vegas on Saturday. I'll be really jealous knowing he's spending a week in the sun and warmth 'working'!
My latest journalistic endeavour - beats writing funding proposals!
One day, in a fit of journalistic enthusiasm (after one of my beloved 'Old Coots' car cruises with our great friends) I wrote this little article and sent it to my dear friend Bob. Surprisingly he liked it too and it's appeared in the Oct/Nov edition of "Performance in Motion". Thanks Bob, it's fun being published!!
“1953 Model, Fairly Good Condition. Needs some ongoing work and TLC. Good project for interested person who doesn’t expect perfection when complete.”
If I was a car ad, that would be me. Anyone who knows my husband and I know that we are car people. When we bought our house almost five years ago, I was impressed with the layout and garden potential; he was thrilled with the three car garage, parking for six cars in the driveway and the extra parking beside the garage. Needless to say, we have a collection – some that run and some that don’t. A couple of drivers, a drag race car, Molly the Motorhome, a classic cruiser, an enclosed trailer and the inevitable dusty project in the garage under the car cover lurking to annoy me. I’m always afraid that the Motor Vehicle Department will make us take out some kind of licence since, when family or friends visit, we usually have more vehicles than the average corner car lot.
All that aside, my current health situation gave me time to pause and think how much I can relate to many of our car adventures. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer in April 2008. Not unlike one of those staggering reports from your mechanic, I received the news with shock and some minor freaking out since I’d noticed some changes months before, but put off the trip to the doctor. I remember the day we got the news that the Mercury Sable wagon we owned (and both hated) had blown head gaskets. Ye gads, that’s a major overhaul and extremely expensive fix! My doctor’s cancer diagnosis was much more compassionately and carefully explained, but produced the same gutwrenching, shocking reaction with one minor difference – I was not about to be put in the Auto Trader and disposed of quickly for as much money as we could get before I deteriorated beyond help. Thanks to early diagnosis, my treatment was to be quickly enacted and the often-annoying but, in this case wonderful Province of McGuinty would foot the bill.
And so my treatment started like so many of our automotive projects. My parts were inspected, prodded, photographed and hummed and hawed over. Great discussion ensued over the expectation of the final result and a concourse, ground up reconstruction was ruled out as unnecessary. Surgery was scheduled to remove the offending, defective part, and I was buttoned up and sent home to rest and recover until the next procedure. Careful examination of the offending part revealed that more work needed to be done so off I was sent to surgery again – a minor fix that was sufficient to let me start my next part of the journey, chemotherapy. In generally excellent health and not so rusty to cause concern, it was determined that I could take the heavy-duty package for maximum performance at the end. Not unlike flushing and replacing all the car’s fluids, I was fitted with a port to make fluid infusion easier and sat there as they flushed my own custom industrial strength cocktail through my tubing to ensure that no stray little cancer bits were still floating around looking for a place to land and cause more disintegration. Unlike most engine flushes, however, I’m to endure this process five more times to be sure everything’s gone.
Now, being the base 1953 model, I came with few extra options. Over the years, I’ve “blinged” her up a bit on occasion, but the base model stayed pretty much the same. The chemo will cause me to go from being a hardtop to having a sunroof, but my new wig, hats and scarves will let me be a convertible on occasion – pretty cool to be sure. After all my treatments are done, hubby and I have made the decision to do a minor accessory removal that will be replaced with a fake part that, hopefully, no one but he will ever notice! The best body job is one that no one ever knows was done, right!
So our love of everything automotive continues…. Many of our friends in our “Old Coots” cruise club have gone through similar “adventures” with both themselves and their classic vehicles. Engines and (body) parts have been “refreshed”, axles have been repaired or replaced, fluids have been changed and the occasional “octane booster” is required to keep everything running just right. Some are closer to the original “off the assembly line” perfection than others, but we all share a deep love for our cars and each other. We share each other’s good times and bad and rally round when someone or something breaks down and needs a little roadside assistance in the form of a tool, a boost or a shoulder to lean on.
So like the dusty project that is my Comet in the garage, I am like my car. The washer fluid leaks for unexplained reasons, the radio occasionally blares, the cooling system is not working and at best blows warm air, with the occasional blasts of unexplained heat for a few moments. The rust is being cut away and, with time, she will be put back together, shiny and rejuvenated and on the road in good driving condition. Until that time, she sits and I grumble about the waste of a great car just sitting there gathering dust, while all our efforts go into other things. “Even though we both love that car, she’s a mess. Why don’t we just get rid of her and let someone else put their love and energy into her?” I ask Darling Husband. “Honey, I wouldn’t get rid of YOU would I?” he responds. Damn, I love the man to death, so grateful he doesn’t expect perfection, and the washer fluid is leaking again.
“1953 Model, Fairly Good Condition. Needs some ongoing work and TLC. Good project for interested person who doesn’t expect perfection when complete.”
If I was a car ad, that would be me. Anyone who knows my husband and I know that we are car people. When we bought our house almost five years ago, I was impressed with the layout and garden potential; he was thrilled with the three car garage, parking for six cars in the driveway and the extra parking beside the garage. Needless to say, we have a collection – some that run and some that don’t. A couple of drivers, a drag race car, Molly the Motorhome, a classic cruiser, an enclosed trailer and the inevitable dusty project in the garage under the car cover lurking to annoy me. I’m always afraid that the Motor Vehicle Department will make us take out some kind of licence since, when family or friends visit, we usually have more vehicles than the average corner car lot.
All that aside, my current health situation gave me time to pause and think how much I can relate to many of our car adventures. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer in April 2008. Not unlike one of those staggering reports from your mechanic, I received the news with shock and some minor freaking out since I’d noticed some changes months before, but put off the trip to the doctor. I remember the day we got the news that the Mercury Sable wagon we owned (and both hated) had blown head gaskets. Ye gads, that’s a major overhaul and extremely expensive fix! My doctor’s cancer diagnosis was much more compassionately and carefully explained, but produced the same gutwrenching, shocking reaction with one minor difference – I was not about to be put in the Auto Trader and disposed of quickly for as much money as we could get before I deteriorated beyond help. Thanks to early diagnosis, my treatment was to be quickly enacted and the often-annoying but, in this case wonderful Province of McGuinty would foot the bill.
And so my treatment started like so many of our automotive projects. My parts were inspected, prodded, photographed and hummed and hawed over. Great discussion ensued over the expectation of the final result and a concourse, ground up reconstruction was ruled out as unnecessary. Surgery was scheduled to remove the offending, defective part, and I was buttoned up and sent home to rest and recover until the next procedure. Careful examination of the offending part revealed that more work needed to be done so off I was sent to surgery again – a minor fix that was sufficient to let me start my next part of the journey, chemotherapy. In generally excellent health and not so rusty to cause concern, it was determined that I could take the heavy-duty package for maximum performance at the end. Not unlike flushing and replacing all the car’s fluids, I was fitted with a port to make fluid infusion easier and sat there as they flushed my own custom industrial strength cocktail through my tubing to ensure that no stray little cancer bits were still floating around looking for a place to land and cause more disintegration. Unlike most engine flushes, however, I’m to endure this process five more times to be sure everything’s gone.
Now, being the base 1953 model, I came with few extra options. Over the years, I’ve “blinged” her up a bit on occasion, but the base model stayed pretty much the same. The chemo will cause me to go from being a hardtop to having a sunroof, but my new wig, hats and scarves will let me be a convertible on occasion – pretty cool to be sure. After all my treatments are done, hubby and I have made the decision to do a minor accessory removal that will be replaced with a fake part that, hopefully, no one but he will ever notice! The best body job is one that no one ever knows was done, right!
So our love of everything automotive continues…. Many of our friends in our “Old Coots” cruise club have gone through similar “adventures” with both themselves and their classic vehicles. Engines and (body) parts have been “refreshed”, axles have been repaired or replaced, fluids have been changed and the occasional “octane booster” is required to keep everything running just right. Some are closer to the original “off the assembly line” perfection than others, but we all share a deep love for our cars and each other. We share each other’s good times and bad and rally round when someone or something breaks down and needs a little roadside assistance in the form of a tool, a boost or a shoulder to lean on.
So like the dusty project that is my Comet in the garage, I am like my car. The washer fluid leaks for unexplained reasons, the radio occasionally blares, the cooling system is not working and at best blows warm air, with the occasional blasts of unexplained heat for a few moments. The rust is being cut away and, with time, she will be put back together, shiny and rejuvenated and on the road in good driving condition. Until that time, she sits and I grumble about the waste of a great car just sitting there gathering dust, while all our efforts go into other things. “Even though we both love that car, she’s a mess. Why don’t we just get rid of her and let someone else put their love and energy into her?” I ask Darling Husband. “Honey, I wouldn’t get rid of YOU would I?” he responds. Damn, I love the man to death, so grateful he doesn’t expect perfection, and the washer fluid is leaking again.
A long wait but lots in between!
Hard to believe it's been since Oct 3rd since I've updated here but lots has sure happened. We had a delightful gathering on the 4th with Maggie in town - sure was great to see her and all the other kids in the same place at the same time. That certainly doesn't happen very often any more. Kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews and friends - good food and some wine - what more could you ask for. Rion was officially introduced to Grandma Turner - 93 years of family on the same couch, what a delight. It's so much fun to have little ones in the mix again. Emy and Carter had a great time with M swinging Carter in his swing - he loved it! Next year we'll have 3 little ones probably running around creating chaos and amusing us all. Mag looks like the west agrees with her and, after a visit with her Mom, Andrea, Grandma and Grandpa up north will be heading back to Invermere before her next adventure takes her to Vancouver. She's definitely the wanderer in the family.
Dave and I headed out on the 6th to our place in South Carolina for 8 days. Two quick flights - Buffalo/Charlotte/Charlotte/Myrtle Beach and we were winging down Hwy 17 on the way to Pawelys Island. It sure was nice to open the front door to 'home' and feel the cares of the world drop off your shoulders. A couple of days of playing Mr. Fixit to do some minor repairs and installations and prepare for Laura, Sara and Emy to arrive Tues night - which they did, tired but excited just after midnight. 'M' apparently is a 'traveller extraordinaire' and managed 2 airports and connecting flights just fine. Aunt Laura, the miracle worker once again, picked up a fantastic little 'leash' consisting of a puppy backpack with strap that let her walk on her own but not be able to dash off - quick as lightening is that little girl! 'Puppy' was a godsend for the whole trip be it shopping, at the beach or just going for walks. She also had great fun pushing pupply in her stroller around the apartment and on the porch - always very careful to make sure the rain hood on the stroller was 'just so' - we laughed at that a lot. Oh, and did we eat! Eat in, eat out, we never seemed to stop and I'm sure the pictures will be a testament to the fact. It sure was great to have such a wonderful time with my 2 'nurses', extraordinary husband who puts up with all my eccentricities and foibles and that wonderful little girl. Can't wait to have the rest of the kids all together at the beach again soon. A couple of rainy days but lots of sun, beach time and pool time was just what the Dr. ordered for me especially before coming back on the 14th in time for my next treatment on the 16th. Before that though I did get to spend a few hours with Rawny and Jaclyn and take them to dance class while Dan, Laurie, Rion and Grandma Pat spend the day at a trade show in Brantford promoting Twisted Lemon. I was so glad to be able to help them out in some small way. It was also great to see Pat at the end of the day. I haven't seen her for many weeks and look forward to getting together with her soon to catch up on grandma stuff and hear about her wonderful trip to the Galapagos. This unpredicable mess of how I'll be feeling on any given day sure makes it hard to plan or commit to anything. Anyway, the girls and I had a great time.
I have to say a special thank you to Kathleen and Chris for keeping Grandma company while we were away - I just can't leave and not know someone's here every day to make sure she's OK - Kathleen has become the unofficial 'Grandma sitter' when we go away but I don't like to take advantage of her time and kindness - even though I know she does like having the use of one of our vehicles for that time!!! And a very special thank you to Dan and Laurie for including her in the Lilliman Thanksgiving dinner - she had a fabulous time and it was a very special time for her to be included in that family gathering!
T#4 was on Thursday and I, very luckily had no allergic reactions that can come with this cocktail mix of Taxotere and Herceptin. Did seem to pick up some kind of an intestinal bug that kept me up all night in the bathroom but I'm sure that was completely coincidental. Sara came with me to the hospital, stayed overnight to make sure I was OK and then managed a well-deserved visit with Katy and Ben before heading back to Fergus on Friday. Sat and Sunday have been, well, blah. Just feel kind of flu-ey, no energy whatsover and completely ticked off that I'm probably missing one of the nicest fall weekends we'll have. Dave and I did manage to get some of the plants cleaned up off the deck, brought in the ones we hope will overwinter downstairs and I actually did some more trimming this afternoon. The 'grocery shopping fairly' didn't arrive so I headed to the store to pick up some stuff and then spent about an hour pulling more plants in the front - it sure was nice to be out in the sun for a bit rather than huddled under a quilt on the couch - I think I'm the world's worst patient - impatient that is! Now it's time for some popcorn to get this yucky taste out of my mouth, a bit of the Martinsville race and probably more nap time. I'm glad Dave managed to get to the final race at Cayuga this afternoon and wrap up his race season on such a beautiful day. He spends so much time looking after me, it's nice for him to be able to get out with 'the guys' and do something he really loves.
I missed Thanksgiving here and just wanted to take the time to say how grateful and thankful I am for everything - this type of situation sure makes to sit up and take notice of how lucky you really are despite some bad things that happen. I'm so grateful for all my family that have rallied around, made sacrifices to get me to things, call me every day and just make sure I'm OK. I'm every grateful for my loving husband who, in his own quiet way, takes charge and makes sure I get everything I need - despite my occasional scaring him by fainting on the floor! To my 2 nurses, Laura and Sara, thanks for keeping me on my toes and making sure I follow all instructions and don't let anything slip by that the cancer team should know about. I've finally agreed that this is not the time to 'tough it out' and play possum like there's nothing wrong. To all my friends, colleagues and extended family - including Peter - thanks for the e-mails, phone calls, online jokes and general good wishes. It gets pretty lonely and isolated when you're sick like this at home and I look forward to hearing from each and every one of you. I'm 60% there and counting down until the end of the treatments, getting better and moving on with the next phase of whatever God has in store for me - lots I hope! Job Skills has their 20th anniversary dinner in November, there's another delicious Twisted Lemon Wine class in November too, Christmas is coming, wedding plans are needing to be finalized and spring will be here before we all know it! I love each and every one of you and hold you dearly in my hearts every day.
Dave and I headed out on the 6th to our place in South Carolina for 8 days. Two quick flights - Buffalo/Charlotte/Charlotte/Myrtle Beach and we were winging down Hwy 17 on the way to Pawelys Island. It sure was nice to open the front door to 'home' and feel the cares of the world drop off your shoulders. A couple of days of playing Mr. Fixit to do some minor repairs and installations and prepare for Laura, Sara and Emy to arrive Tues night - which they did, tired but excited just after midnight. 'M' apparently is a 'traveller extraordinaire' and managed 2 airports and connecting flights just fine. Aunt Laura, the miracle worker once again, picked up a fantastic little 'leash' consisting of a puppy backpack with strap that let her walk on her own but not be able to dash off - quick as lightening is that little girl! 'Puppy' was a godsend for the whole trip be it shopping, at the beach or just going for walks. She also had great fun pushing pupply in her stroller around the apartment and on the porch - always very careful to make sure the rain hood on the stroller was 'just so' - we laughed at that a lot. Oh, and did we eat! Eat in, eat out, we never seemed to stop and I'm sure the pictures will be a testament to the fact. It sure was great to have such a wonderful time with my 2 'nurses', extraordinary husband who puts up with all my eccentricities and foibles and that wonderful little girl. Can't wait to have the rest of the kids all together at the beach again soon. A couple of rainy days but lots of sun, beach time and pool time was just what the Dr. ordered for me especially before coming back on the 14th in time for my next treatment on the 16th. Before that though I did get to spend a few hours with Rawny and Jaclyn and take them to dance class while Dan, Laurie, Rion and Grandma Pat spend the day at a trade show in Brantford promoting Twisted Lemon. I was so glad to be able to help them out in some small way. It was also great to see Pat at the end of the day. I haven't seen her for many weeks and look forward to getting together with her soon to catch up on grandma stuff and hear about her wonderful trip to the Galapagos. This unpredicable mess of how I'll be feeling on any given day sure makes it hard to plan or commit to anything. Anyway, the girls and I had a great time.
I have to say a special thank you to Kathleen and Chris for keeping Grandma company while we were away - I just can't leave and not know someone's here every day to make sure she's OK - Kathleen has become the unofficial 'Grandma sitter' when we go away but I don't like to take advantage of her time and kindness - even though I know she does like having the use of one of our vehicles for that time!!! And a very special thank you to Dan and Laurie for including her in the Lilliman Thanksgiving dinner - she had a fabulous time and it was a very special time for her to be included in that family gathering!
T#4 was on Thursday and I, very luckily had no allergic reactions that can come with this cocktail mix of Taxotere and Herceptin. Did seem to pick up some kind of an intestinal bug that kept me up all night in the bathroom but I'm sure that was completely coincidental. Sara came with me to the hospital, stayed overnight to make sure I was OK and then managed a well-deserved visit with Katy and Ben before heading back to Fergus on Friday. Sat and Sunday have been, well, blah. Just feel kind of flu-ey, no energy whatsover and completely ticked off that I'm probably missing one of the nicest fall weekends we'll have. Dave and I did manage to get some of the plants cleaned up off the deck, brought in the ones we hope will overwinter downstairs and I actually did some more trimming this afternoon. The 'grocery shopping fairly' didn't arrive so I headed to the store to pick up some stuff and then spent about an hour pulling more plants in the front - it sure was nice to be out in the sun for a bit rather than huddled under a quilt on the couch - I think I'm the world's worst patient - impatient that is! Now it's time for some popcorn to get this yucky taste out of my mouth, a bit of the Martinsville race and probably more nap time. I'm glad Dave managed to get to the final race at Cayuga this afternoon and wrap up his race season on such a beautiful day. He spends so much time looking after me, it's nice for him to be able to get out with 'the guys' and do something he really loves.
I missed Thanksgiving here and just wanted to take the time to say how grateful and thankful I am for everything - this type of situation sure makes to sit up and take notice of how lucky you really are despite some bad things that happen. I'm so grateful for all my family that have rallied around, made sacrifices to get me to things, call me every day and just make sure I'm OK. I'm every grateful for my loving husband who, in his own quiet way, takes charge and makes sure I get everything I need - despite my occasional scaring him by fainting on the floor! To my 2 nurses, Laura and Sara, thanks for keeping me on my toes and making sure I follow all instructions and don't let anything slip by that the cancer team should know about. I've finally agreed that this is not the time to 'tough it out' and play possum like there's nothing wrong. To all my friends, colleagues and extended family - including Peter - thanks for the e-mails, phone calls, online jokes and general good wishes. It gets pretty lonely and isolated when you're sick like this at home and I look forward to hearing from each and every one of you. I'm 60% there and counting down until the end of the treatments, getting better and moving on with the next phase of whatever God has in store for me - lots I hope! Job Skills has their 20th anniversary dinner in November, there's another delicious Twisted Lemon Wine class in November too, Christmas is coming, wedding plans are needing to be finalized and spring will be here before we all know it! I love each and every one of you and hold you dearly in my hearts every day.
Whew, that was a loooooong haul....
But I've finally turned the corner and actually feel human again. Everyone said that this treatment (FEC) could be really hard on you but I guess I got a bit cocky since it hadn't been bad so far. Well, somebody decided to slap me upside the head and let me know who was in charge this time! But it's done and the next round (Taxotere + Herceptin for anyone that's interested) is not supposed to be nearly as hard to take. But even in the midst of all my misery and 'pity party' there were some lovely bright lights. I was so happy to attend our Small Business Week celebration on Oct 1st and meet up with all my colleagues I haven't seen for a while. It warms my heart to really understand that so many of these people are my friends, not just co-workers. Maggie's back home for a visit from out west and we're all getting together tomorrow - I'm really looking forward to that. This will be Dan and Laurie's first chance to introduce Rion to Grandma - and it's his 1 month birthday! I'll definitely have to get a picture with Sylvia, Dave, Dan and Rion - 4 generations, almost 94 years apart. Then it's off to Pawleys Island on Monday for 8 blissful days. I love going this time of year to grab one last gasp of summer before coming back to fall. Having Laura, Sara and Emy there will be like icing on the cake - this will be Emy's 1st visit to the ocean and we're planning on lots of 'sand and water' time as well as long walks on the beach. I just seem to relax differently while I'm there and I know my two 'nurses' won't let me overdo it in any way. I'll try to post some pics while we're away but otherwise I'll do it when I get back. The good wishes keep coming my way and I truly appreciate every single one of them.
Feels like the first time...
Only a bit worse I think. Damn, I had such an easy time of it on Round 2, I can't believe that this one hit me so hard. Wed was fine, Thurs was average but then it went downhill from there. Glad that 'the worst part' (the FEC treatment) is overwith because I sure wouldn't want to have to feel like this 3 more times. More gravol and sleep I think, maybe when I wake up tomorrow I'll feel better. Dave's been an angel keeping a cold cloth on my head, making sure I don't pass out, bringing me juice and tea, holding me when I feel like crying and generally doing everything I could ever ask. I know everyone's thinking about me and I thank you all for your thoughts - they'll get me through this yet again. I just want this chemical soup to do it`s job and get out of my body!
One step forward, 2 steps back...
Well, not so great today. Not horrible but certainly more tired and queasy than last time but good old Gravol and napping seems to help. I mentioned this to my home care nurse (that I was curious why this time I wouldn't feel as well) and she said 'maybe because you're going through chemo? Yep, I keep forgetting . After all this is #3 and I guess the battery acid accumulates in you after a while. I'll just take it easy, try to keep drinking, napping and not eating anything heave. So far, toast, oatmeal and I'm thinking applesauce and ice cream... mmm. Dave's home tonight - yeah - and I'm sure tomorrow will be better. I'll just keep reminding myself that I need to get better so I can truly enjoy my time at Pawleys and not do ANYTHING to jeopardize that! I'll be a good girl this time.
Woah, we're halfway there!
Quoting the every gorgeous Mr. Bon Jovi of course. "Whooah, were half way thereLivin on a prayerTake my hand and well make it - I swear Livin on a prayer".
T-3 is in the books and I'm FINISHED with FEC-D - my first treatment protocol, yahoo. This was the real industrial strength one that was recommended because I was healthy enough to handle it and, all in all, it's been much better than expected. A few bumps in the road along the way but usually 1 week of feeling about 75%, then 2 weeks of feeling about 95% so I surely can't complain.
There was a young woman (mid 30's?) beside me at my chemo session who was on the same treatment protocol as me but one treatment ahead so she had started the Taxotere/Herceptin mix. Nice lady and after we'd chatted a bit she said, "if we're on the same treatment schedule, how did you manage to keep your hair??" Best thing anyone could ever have said to me since I still feel self conscious wearing Wanda. Everyone to date that's said it looks good is a good friend and I'm never quite sure whether they mean it or are being polite. Well, now I have the confirmation that we're a good looking pair from a completely unbiased stranger - thank you whoever you are since I didn't get her name. Kathleen came with me and it was a great 4 hour bond-fest and she got to get all the 'learning' about the next phase. I'm glad since she missed the first teaching session. It took her a bit longer to wrap her head around all of this and get past the shock and fear, but she's right there now and realizes how wonderful the nurses and doctors are and that their goal is to make this as pleasant a phase as possible and minimize any discomfort.
Well, now I'm tired and off to bed. I'll be on the IV tomorrow and Fri, skip Sat to go to Louise's dads funereral service then one more 'drip day' on Sunday. Lots of good stuff happening over the next 2 weeks - including getting ready to go to Pawleys on the 6th for 8 day - can't wait since Laura, Sara and Emily are coming too! I can't wait to spend lots of beach time with Emy. She's only a2 months away from being 2, chattering up a storm and I'm sure we'll have lots of fun digging in the sand, chasing birds and playing in the ocean and pool, what fun! Signing off and thanks for the continued good wishes.
T-3 is in the books and I'm FINISHED with FEC-D - my first treatment protocol, yahoo. This was the real industrial strength one that was recommended because I was healthy enough to handle it and, all in all, it's been much better than expected. A few bumps in the road along the way but usually 1 week of feeling about 75%, then 2 weeks of feeling about 95% so I surely can't complain.
There was a young woman (mid 30's?) beside me at my chemo session who was on the same treatment protocol as me but one treatment ahead so she had started the Taxotere/Herceptin mix. Nice lady and after we'd chatted a bit she said, "if we're on the same treatment schedule, how did you manage to keep your hair??" Best thing anyone could ever have said to me since I still feel self conscious wearing Wanda. Everyone to date that's said it looks good is a good friend and I'm never quite sure whether they mean it or are being polite. Well, now I have the confirmation that we're a good looking pair from a completely unbiased stranger - thank you whoever you are since I didn't get her name. Kathleen came with me and it was a great 4 hour bond-fest and she got to get all the 'learning' about the next phase. I'm glad since she missed the first teaching session. It took her a bit longer to wrap her head around all of this and get past the shock and fear, but she's right there now and realizes how wonderful the nurses and doctors are and that their goal is to make this as pleasant a phase as possible and minimize any discomfort.
Well, now I'm tired and off to bed. I'll be on the IV tomorrow and Fri, skip Sat to go to Louise's dads funereral service then one more 'drip day' on Sunday. Lots of good stuff happening over the next 2 weeks - including getting ready to go to Pawleys on the 6th for 8 day - can't wait since Laura, Sara and Emily are coming too! I can't wait to spend lots of beach time with Emy. She's only a2 months away from being 2, chattering up a storm and I'm sure we'll have lots of fun digging in the sand, chasing birds and playing in the ocean and pool, what fun! Signing off and thanks for the continued good wishes.
My thoughts are with Louise today.
Louise's father Pat passed away today after a long struggle with Alzheimer's and cancer.
Louise and I met 8 years ago, became colleagues, then friends. Over the years we've shared books, recipes, stories, a crazy adventure or two, favourite TV shows and laughs. We've also shared the sad times over the deaths of both our mothers, joys and happy times of our kids growing, marrying and making us Nanas together. With Sandy, Louise and I, we always seem to be 'in step' on many of life's major joys and tragedies. My sister and I were at the hospital caring for my Dad in his last weeks when Louise's dad was admitted on the same floor. We visited each other's Dads and each other those couple of weeks with Louise and I running back to the office 'on shifts' to cover each other. Her Dad was, unfortunately, diagnosed with terminal lung cancer the week our Dad passed away - April 2007. Over this past year he has struggled with the dual burden of the cancer and progressive Alzheimers but Louise moved in with him and has been his primary caregiver all these months. It's been a hard and tragic time for her but the joy of her first grandson, the wedding of her youngest daughter and the pending birth of grandchild #2 has been the bright spot on many dark days.
Today is the end of that tough road for them both. Mr. Doyle, may you rest in peace and Louise - bless you for all you have done these past months. What little we could do to support you in your most challenging times never seemed to be enough. Rest now, dear friend, and know that we are with you in thought and mind as you put YOUR life back together and enjoy the wonderful family and friends that care about you and love your spirit and generous being.
Louise and I met 8 years ago, became colleagues, then friends. Over the years we've shared books, recipes, stories, a crazy adventure or two, favourite TV shows and laughs. We've also shared the sad times over the deaths of both our mothers, joys and happy times of our kids growing, marrying and making us Nanas together. With Sandy, Louise and I, we always seem to be 'in step' on many of life's major joys and tragedies. My sister and I were at the hospital caring for my Dad in his last weeks when Louise's dad was admitted on the same floor. We visited each other's Dads and each other those couple of weeks with Louise and I running back to the office 'on shifts' to cover each other. Her Dad was, unfortunately, diagnosed with terminal lung cancer the week our Dad passed away - April 2007. Over this past year he has struggled with the dual burden of the cancer and progressive Alzheimers but Louise moved in with him and has been his primary caregiver all these months. It's been a hard and tragic time for her but the joy of her first grandson, the wedding of her youngest daughter and the pending birth of grandchild #2 has been the bright spot on many dark days.
Today is the end of that tough road for them both. Mr. Doyle, may you rest in peace and Louise - bless you for all you have done these past months. What little we could do to support you in your most challenging times never seemed to be enough. Rest now, dear friend, and know that we are with you in thought and mind as you put YOUR life back together and enjoy the wonderful family and friends that care about you and love your spirit and generous being.
Free bird....
Dave, not me. Kissed him goodbye as he headed out to Phoenix Sat morning until next Thurs. Poor guy has to spend the next 5 days at a beautiful Arizona resort, play golf and sandwich a few days of business meetings into his recreational activities! Seriously, they'll get a lot of work done but it's sure nice to do it in a beautiful spot - especially when it's 98F, sunny and not humid. I'm drooling with envy. Taking Miss Daisy to Swiss Chalet today for lunch (I REALLY need to get out of the house), then starting some painting. We started the project on the stairs in the spring then got stumped by how to finish so painting the spindles white may get our butts in gear to decide on the final solution. It would be sooooooo nice to get this finished and the main floor hardwood done by Christmas. The deck demolition may get done this fall as well (hopefully the end of October), ready for reconstruction outside in preparation for Kathleen & Chris' wedding in July. Starting to tick off tasks in that regard. We've got the food ordered and they're bottled their wine yesterday... mmmmm. Bathrooms will get done in the spring too - when I'm back at work and am living above the poverty line again! It was very disappointing not to get to Chudleighs for apple picking on Saturday with Sara and Emy but I couldn't chance picking up her cold - delaying any of my treatments is the last thing I want to do. Normally I wouldn't have given it a second thought, now I'm turning into a nervous Nellie. Once Tuesday's done I'll be 50% there, yeah! Probably shouldn't be taking the time and $$ to go to Pawleys but it's essential for my sanity - I can honestly say that I think & feel completely differently when I'm there - it's my own personal little mind-escape. Kathleen and Chriss will come and stay at the house so I'm reassured Grandma isn't on her own for 8 days. I'm hoping next weekend will be nice enough for a hike through Mono Cliffs park - I love it there in the fall. I love fall in general and especially this year knowing that all this treatment mess will be done by fall's end. I'm also very happy that Laurie's mom Pat arrived home from her exciting S. American mission trip yesterday and is probably, as I write, cuddling her new grandson in her arms for the first time. Enjoy Pat, he's been waiting for Grandma Pat and Grandpa John's snuggles for 18 days! Hope to see you really soon. Maggie's due to arrive October 1st. It will be great to see her again before she heads back west. Party on the 4th, yahoo!
Up and down, up and down....
That's how it's felt the past week or so... either I'm busy and involved, or doing nothing - and I mean nothing. Between attending Twisted Lemon's fabulous California Wine class last Saturday night, a work-related meeting, being part of the judging committee for our Small Business Week activity and seeing a great independent movie on Monday ('The Visitor - excellent!), there have been some interesting, mind-tuning things going on. In between, however, is the NOTHING - sounds like something from The Neverending Story. I have come to realize that I'm not a homebody - I don't do projects or crafts, not much of a cook (we don't starve), hate housework and have an uncanny ability to put off all those little things that should get done. I had a long talk with myself yesterday and 'we' came to the conclusion that I will go absolutely crazy unless I start putting some structure into my days to get even some small things accomplished. Now I know how miserable it can be for people who retire that don't have 'a plan'.... I surely didn't have a plan when I went into all of this, probably assuming that I wouldn't feel much like doing anything healthwise. Unfortunately - fortunately, really! - I feel fine except for a few days after treatment. I will go absolutely stir-crazy unless I get myself motivated and start making lists of things that really could be accomplished over the next months. Even small things like cleaning out our office, cleaning and sorting closets, really going through the storage room downstairs, some small painting projects etc. will keep me occupied. Won't add to my skill level on a resume but I'm sure I'll feel much better when they're done - kind of like those government 'make work' projects. I'll just keep telling myself that. That's my moan for the day - not very informative or creative but it will have to do.
Is there anything better?
Than the smell of a new baby's neck? Or head, or fingers... I was so lucky to get to spend all afternoon in Cayuga yesterday snuggling little Rion, changing a diaper (gee, I still remember how!) and hanging out with Rawny and Jaclyn for a while after school. I don't know that I accomplished much to help out other than the girls and I doing some baby clothes sorting but I think it gave Dan and Laurie some small slots of time to get back to business - which hasn't stopped a tick since Rion's arrival. I was telling Laurie that most new moms have quit work and come home to taking care of baby, hubby and household - she's come home to a busy, full time job (their busiest season is just getting into gear), a brand new baby who dictates the feeding schedule, a hubby who's fortunately there to help out but is still the 'key man' in the business, and two active little girls who luckily are in love with their little brother and will be a great help as the weeks go on. It will all get worked out but I was glad to even give them a couple of 1/2 hour slots to answer phone calls, respond to e-mails and talk to each other uninterrupted. I was, of course, in lah lah land with a baby to snuggle, rock, sniff and just hold. I'll be back on Saturday to hopefully provide some more of the same and Sara will help as they get ready for their wine class that night. After Laurie does her intro at the class, I'm glad she'll be heading home with Rion for some quiet mommy/baby time. Terry, Dan and crew will have everything well in hand and Sara and I are looking forward to tasting some delicious California wines and remarkable food. If only they weren't 1 1/2 hours away!
Ups and downs
Well, it was a busy week last week. Between T#2, Rion's arrival on Thurs, lots of running around on Friday then heading to Pointe au Baril, I guess I'm not surprised that I 'crashed' on Saturday. Probably sat in the sun too long, didn't drink enough after being unhooked from my IV and generally just pretended there was nothing wrong with me... wrong. I spent most of Saturday afternoon on the couch either sleeping or dozing while everyone else had a great dinner and sat around the fire. Oh, well, Sunday was better but still not good enough for me to get out on the boat other than to get back to the dock. My great plans to take Laura and Jamie to Henry's for fresh fish (on the boat) never happened. Nausea and a 2 hour boat ride probably wouldn;t have been the best company! Taking it easy today around the house, avoiding Grandma who has a cold and wiping everything with my Lysol wipes that could harbour a germ!
Finally heard from one of my friends on Provo - Grand Turk and South Caicos are pretty much destroyed after Hanna and Ike - airport control tower, hospital, government buildings, jail etc. will all have to be rebuilt. Provo is just starting to get power back after 2 weeks and it will take time before things are anywhere near normal. Glad to hear that there were no major injuries but this was the worst hurricane they've had since the 60's and Ike is still packing a powerful punch as he heads to the US gulf coast - not what they need again either.
Well, my plan is to get to Cayuga on Wed to deliver some stuff to Dan and Laurie, spend some time with Rion so they can get some other things done. Between the post-baby-birth hormone crash, sleep deprivation and a business to run, they're run ragged and just trying to keep up at the moment. If I can help out a bit that will be great. Sara and I will be heading to the wine class on Saturday night and then they can get their bearings back a bit before the next Twisted Lemon class series gets under way. I remember well the feeling of being frazzled when I brought Kathleen home with 2 others under 5 to look after - CRAZY!!! but somehow we manage to muddle through.
Finally heard from one of my friends on Provo - Grand Turk and South Caicos are pretty much destroyed after Hanna and Ike - airport control tower, hospital, government buildings, jail etc. will all have to be rebuilt. Provo is just starting to get power back after 2 weeks and it will take time before things are anywhere near normal. Glad to hear that there were no major injuries but this was the worst hurricane they've had since the 60's and Ike is still packing a powerful punch as he heads to the US gulf coast - not what they need again either.
Well, my plan is to get to Cayuga on Wed to deliver some stuff to Dan and Laurie, spend some time with Rion so they can get some other things done. Between the post-baby-birth hormone crash, sleep deprivation and a business to run, they're run ragged and just trying to keep up at the moment. If I can help out a bit that will be great. Sara and I will be heading to the wine class on Saturday night and then they can get their bearings back a bit before the next Twisted Lemon class series gets under way. I remember well the feeling of being frazzled when I brought Kathleen home with 2 others under 5 to look after - CRAZY!!! but somehow we manage to muddle through.
The happiest days are the days that babies come - Melanie Hamilt2:43on 'Gone with the Wind'
Rion James Megna made his beloved early arrival on Thurs Sept 4th at 2:43 (?). After a long night but relatively short 'tough part', Laurie produced our newest beautiful grandchild much to the delight of Dan and big sisters Rawyny and Jaclyn. At 7lb 14oz he's just perfect and probably has more hair than I do! It didn't take long for the excited guests to arrive. Auntie Dawn, Grandpa Jack and Grandma Judy, Auntie's Sara, Kathleen, Uncle Chris, Cousin Emily and cousins Britt and Clay all were there to welcome him to the family. Grandma Pat will be so thrilled to see him when she returns from the Galapagos islands on the 20th. Pappy Peter got the news from Dan and will be anxiously awaiting to see his new grandson when he arrives in a couple of weeks. Nana Cathy and Grandpa Dave arrived last but were graciously allowed to stay past visiting hours to snuggle and cuddle a few extra minutes. Auntie's Andrea and Maggie will see him soon - Mag arrives from out west on Oct 1st. I'm sure 'Uncle Matt and Aunt Vaness' will arrive today for their own oohs and aahs. Matt and Dan have been best friends since they were born and I'm sure there are lots of Leafs games in the boys' futures! All our best wishes for this wonderful new addition to our family. He will be much loved, cared for and welcomed to a large clan that gives with love every day and truly believes 'it takes a village to raise a child'. We're all looking forward to be a part of that wondrous journey.
T2... what a treat!
The actual treatment went as per ususal. There is no pain, no reaction during the treatment and the volunteers like to come around with food/drinks - very nice. I rant into a lady that started the same treatment as me the same day 3 weeks ago - she had no nausea/sickness at all but got a fever on the Sunday and ended up in hospital for 4 days on antibiotics - no fun. I guess it's true that you really need to be vigilant about being around people with colds, washing doorknobs etc. My blood counts were even higher than the initital readings so that's great and my echocardigram shows the ticker is still ticking!
With much discussion about my reaction last time, we changed the prototcol and got rid of the anti-nausea Stemetil I was taking and replaced it with good old garden variety gravol - works like a charm. No nausea at all. I still take the Zofran every 12 hours over day 1 and 2 and the Decadron day 1/2/3 but then the Gravol every 4 hours and the ATivan to keep me pretty laid back. I'm hooked up to an IV hydradtion drip today and tomorrow for 4 hours each day but R2D2 and I just wander around the first floor between the kitchen table to work, the kitchen for food, the bathroom and the couch for chillin! The CCAC case worker is due any minute to do an assessment but if this is the pattern, I'm good with this for sure!
With much discussion about my reaction last time, we changed the prototcol and got rid of the anti-nausea Stemetil I was taking and replaced it with good old garden variety gravol - works like a charm. No nausea at all. I still take the Zofran every 12 hours over day 1 and 2 and the Decadron day 1/2/3 but then the Gravol every 4 hours and the ATivan to keep me pretty laid back. I'm hooked up to an IV hydradtion drip today and tomorrow for 4 hours each day but R2D2 and I just wander around the first floor between the kitchen table to work, the kitchen for food, the bathroom and the couch for chillin! The CCAC case worker is due any minute to do an assessment but if this is the pattern, I'm good with this for sure!
Love and caring... stitch by stitch.
I've told you about my starburst circle. My work colleagues are certainly one of the most imporant ones to me. I've been with this fabulous not-for-profit organization for 10 years (as of Oct 14) and have seen it grow in both size and excellent reputation. The short definition is 'we help people' - unemployed people that need help with the job search or starting a business. I'm currently on leave as a member of the Senior Mgt Team and manage(d) the Business Services division.
Well, I had an absolutely delightful visit from 2 of my colleagues yesterday that brought me the most beautifully, handcrafted lap quilt to take with me to the hospital for T-days (it's cold in there!) and also use around the house. I've attached a picture of me using it today since trying to describe the beautiful colours and prints would not do it justice. Ladies, I was the envy of my section and had some real quilters coming by to give it the 'thumbs up'. I thank you with all my heart. It was a gift from all the 'girls' at head office - most of whom I've known for almost those 10 years. They're kind of grouped but all dear to me in different ways.
Sandy, Louise, Jan, Lynn & Judy were some of the first to know about my diagnosis and shared their own and family experiences with me along the way. Sandy and Louise and I go waaay back - to kids graduating from high school, starting college, boyfriends, marriages, deaths of parents and now we are officially our own 'Nana' club. Sandy's newest little addition was born last week and my next one is any day. Louise has a few more months then the 3 of us will be at 2 each! Jan, Lynn and Judy keep my inspired with wonderful little gifts, extraordinary words of encouragement and Judy's sister in the US is even part of the group.
The ladies of Marketing and Finance put up with my lack of following protocol for work orders, eye-bobbling confusion over numbers and budgets, but share in this adventure with me with caring, lovely e-mails and unwavering support. It was Jill's sister who made the lovely quilt that I will cherish forever. I can't wait to see all of you on the 22nd.
Then there's my fellow SMT members. Nella, Kim and Judy and I have become great friends as well as colleagues. We are just as good at writing a mean funding proposal and arguing our case when we know we're right or deserve an opportunity as we are at sharing drinks, jokes and even the odd mini-vacation/training session. I've now successfully got them all addicted to Pawleys Island (oh, and Annie B too) and can't wait for our trip next spring. They are my link to an officeplace that is really a second home for me - I truly love my job and the people I work with. The 'guys' in the group, John and Graham, put up with my endless technically-deficient questions and have taken on projects in my absence without a moan (to my face at least!)
The aforementioned Sandy has graciously and most competently taken over as director during my leave but I have made a firm committment to her that it's her show to run with Nella and the rest of the teams. I'll be happy with the odd tidbit of news and baby updates as the weeks go on.
Not many people can say so many good things not only about the work they do but about the people they work with every day. I, and Dave, are truly blessed to work with highly professional, successful organizations that treat their staff like family - probably even better than some families! Thanks to each and every one of you for the karma, vibes, messages and gifts you've been sending my way. Like good old Arnold said, 'I'll be back' - date TBD!!
Well, I had an absolutely delightful visit from 2 of my colleagues yesterday that brought me the most beautifully, handcrafted lap quilt to take with me to the hospital for T-days (it's cold in there!) and also use around the house. I've attached a picture of me using it today since trying to describe the beautiful colours and prints would not do it justice. Ladies, I was the envy of my section and had some real quilters coming by to give it the 'thumbs up'. I thank you with all my heart. It was a gift from all the 'girls' at head office - most of whom I've known for almost those 10 years. They're kind of grouped but all dear to me in different ways.
Sandy, Louise, Jan, Lynn & Judy were some of the first to know about my diagnosis and shared their own and family experiences with me along the way. Sandy and Louise and I go waaay back - to kids graduating from high school, starting college, boyfriends, marriages, deaths of parents and now we are officially our own 'Nana' club. Sandy's newest little addition was born last week and my next one is any day. Louise has a few more months then the 3 of us will be at 2 each! Jan, Lynn and Judy keep my inspired with wonderful little gifts, extraordinary words of encouragement and Judy's sister in the US is even part of the group.
The ladies of Marketing and Finance put up with my lack of following protocol for work orders, eye-bobbling confusion over numbers and budgets, but share in this adventure with me with caring, lovely e-mails and unwavering support. It was Jill's sister who made the lovely quilt that I will cherish forever. I can't wait to see all of you on the 22nd.
Then there's my fellow SMT members. Nella, Kim and Judy and I have become great friends as well as colleagues. We are just as good at writing a mean funding proposal and arguing our case when we know we're right or deserve an opportunity as we are at sharing drinks, jokes and even the odd mini-vacation/training session. I've now successfully got them all addicted to Pawleys Island (oh, and Annie B too) and can't wait for our trip next spring. They are my link to an officeplace that is really a second home for me - I truly love my job and the people I work with. The 'guys' in the group, John and Graham, put up with my endless technically-deficient questions and have taken on projects in my absence without a moan (to my face at least!)
The aforementioned Sandy has graciously and most competently taken over as director during my leave but I have made a firm committment to her that it's her show to run with Nella and the rest of the teams. I'll be happy with the odd tidbit of news and baby updates as the weeks go on.
Not many people can say so many good things not only about the work they do but about the people they work with every day. I, and Dave, are truly blessed to work with highly professional, successful organizations that treat their staff like family - probably even better than some families! Thanks to each and every one of you for the karma, vibes, messages and gifts you've been sending my way. Like good old Arnold said, 'I'll be back' - date TBD!!
Me being off work is a disaster - a natural one again!
This has nothing to do with my illness or treatment, just an observation. Historically, I seem to be home from work when some major natural events or disasters happen. Everyone remembers where they were when President Kennedy was shot - I was home with a cold, my Nana was babysitting me and we were mesmerised by the TV for 2 days. I remember watching the funeral at school on a little TV they wheeled into the auditorium. I was home after having a tooth pulled when Bobby Kennedy was assassinated. I was home on one of my day's off from the hospital when the Challenger crashed. I remember calling Ralph (it was his day off too, and we marvelled and were devastated by what we were watching. He came over and we watched together downstairs at the Dalston house). I took a week off to paint my upstairs almost 3 years ago today. My first day off , as I remember was the day Katrina hit and I shuffled the little TV around upstairs as far as the cable would take it as I watched that horrific disaster unfold before my eyes. I was away in Pawleys on vacation in October 2005 when rain drenching tropical storm Tammy hit the east coast causing major flooding in South Carolina. I don't know if the tsunami counts since everyone was off for the Christmas holidays but I'll put that in here too. And now, tomorrow we'll see what horror Gustav will bring to the Gulf Coast. Kathleen, the 'Bling Queen' is in Orlando at a work convention but will fly home tomorrow night before any effects of Hanna hit the eastern Fl/Georgia coast and I've just e-mailed a friend in Orlando to check on the weather there. I'd just better be doing some kind of 'work' every day to save everybody else from disaster! At least this will keep me glued to CNN tomorrow and keep my mind off my next 'T-day' on Tuesday.....
Oh no, the great molt has begun!
Like everyone else, I'm sure, I wake up each morning, look on the pillow for stray hair, ruffle my head to see if anything falls out and then yank in a few places to see what's up. This morning the pillow test was ok, a bit more than usual it seems filtered from my ruffling but good Lord, everywhere I yanked little tufts pulled out... yikes! It's started. First thing I did was look out the window to see if it was windy or not - I pictured myself out today with Miss Daisy in a stiff breeze with my frizz leaving my head like a demented dandelion. Good news - no wind. My next thoughts were how to keep it from falling out in clumps and leaving me looking like Mr. Burns. While all these ridiculous thoughts to stall the inevitable were roiling in my head I checked some e-mails and found this from my dear friend Pat, Laurie's mom:
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.'So she did and she had a wonderful day.The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.'H-M-M,' she said,'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.'So she did and she had a grand day.The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.'So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.'YAY!' she exclaimed.'I don't have to fix my hair today!'
Attitude is everything.Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.Live simply, Love generously,Care deeply, Speak kindly.......Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain. (And I will!)
Thanks Pat. You're another constellation in the Starburst that makes me grateful for our friendship and family connection. As you bask in your beloved retirement (as of today!) and prepare for your wonderful mission to the Galapagos for the next 3 weeks, we'll be keeping you in our hearts and anxiously awaiting your return - hopefully to welcome our newest grandbaby - which I'm betting my $$ on being a boy - no reason at all, just because. Should he/she arrive before your return, be comforted in knowing that THIS Nana will be hugging for both of us! I'll make sure Little Lemon gets extra kisses from his/her bald Nana on both our behalfs.
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.'So she did and she had a wonderful day.The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.'H-M-M,' she said,'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.'So she did and she had a grand day.The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.'So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.'YAY!' she exclaimed.'I don't have to fix my hair today!'
Attitude is everything.Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.Live simply, Love generously,Care deeply, Speak kindly.......Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain. (And I will!)
Thanks Pat. You're another constellation in the Starburst that makes me grateful for our friendship and family connection. As you bask in your beloved retirement (as of today!) and prepare for your wonderful mission to the Galapagos for the next 3 weeks, we'll be keeping you in our hearts and anxiously awaiting your return - hopefully to welcome our newest grandbaby - which I'm betting my $$ on being a boy - no reason at all, just because. Should he/she arrive before your return, be comforted in knowing that THIS Nana will be hugging for both of us! I'll make sure Little Lemon gets extra kisses from his/her bald Nana on both our behalfs.
Everybody should have a Bunny....
... and a MaryLynne and a Laura, and a Sara, and a Dan & Laurie and a Kathleen and Chris - more commonly known as the ChrisLeen Team. All these individuals and couples have taken upon themselves to be my 'team' of nurses, helpers, cooks, drivers, health consultants, researchers and fashion and makeup artists.
Bunny and MaryLynn are actual RN's. I got to know MaryLynn after my first surgery and she showed up at my door the next day to check up on me, show me how to drain the dastardly drain, answer any questions and generally cheer me up and keep me informed. Once the chemo started I was told I could request her again, if she was available (she was, yeah!) and she again showed up on Day 2 to check up on me and answer questions. As the miserable days wore on, she arrived to give me nausea preventing shots in my derriere and give me tips on how to feel better. She always remembered which bum she'd poked the time before and, even after I started feeling great, called just to make sure. She's on board for Round 2 and I know she'll be there to help me out again, should I need it.
Bunny is also an RN - retired so she says - but lives in South Carolina and her primary duty is the cleaning and maintenance of the wonderful condo we bought last year. She's been another lifeline of information, encouragement and duties 'above and beyond' as she looks after all and sundry related to my sometimes less than stellar tenants who break things, leave a mess and lock things that shouldn't be locked. As she tells me, 'if I can't fix it myself, I'll find someone who will!' She's already informed me that she'll be on board in her RN role when we visit in October and has lined up one of 'her' Drs just in case I need anything while I'm away. I bless the woman every day and wonder if she really is real - but I know she is and I can't wait to see her again with her great humour and my favourite southern drawl.
My sister Laura and daughter Sara have taken it upon themselves to be my 'family' nursing staff. Laura is the doer of all things that need doing - cooking, bringing me meds, taking to appointments, calling every day and making sure everything keeps ticking. Not just for me but for Dave and his mom as well. After her own health issues this winter and spring, we're kind of looking out for each other, it's just her turn at the moment. Sara is the 'nurse to be' and researcher extraordaire keeping me on my toes with my symptoms and meds and coming up with new information and websites when we're scratching our heads over something. With a BUSY almost 2 year old, it's a wonder she has time to sleep but there's never a day without a call or an e-mail to check up on me - and great 'girl' visits when we can. After the wonderful care she gave her Nana in her last weeks, this girl will be a blessing to any patients fortunate enough to get her.
Dan and Laurie are my nutritional consultants and continue to provide me with a fabulous array of good, healthy foods, a juicer which I'm still working my way into, some great reading and advice and unending positive support. How they manage to keep on top of all of this and fuss over me while expecting a baby in the next few weeks and running a wonderful business www.twistedlemon.ca (I'm your mother, I can shamelessly plug it if I want to!) is beyond me but they do and I appreciate it. The ChrisLeen team look after my spiritual well being with books, movie nights, humour and Kathleen is the official 'bling' queen. I'm being supplied with lovely things to wear, makeup tips and endless manicures and pedicures to make me look great when I feel like crap.
All in all, I have decided I have a complete 'Starburst' team surrounding me. Remember those fabulous fireworks as a kid that exploded with a centre burst then a huge array of twinking little constellations surrounding it. That's what I have - a wonderful group of people from all different parts of my life that are there to support, help, cheer and reassure me when I need it. You'll hear of more of them as time goes on but I am grateful and blessed to have each and every one of them in my 'Starburst'!
Bunny and MaryLynn are actual RN's. I got to know MaryLynn after my first surgery and she showed up at my door the next day to check up on me, show me how to drain the dastardly drain, answer any questions and generally cheer me up and keep me informed. Once the chemo started I was told I could request her again, if she was available (she was, yeah!) and she again showed up on Day 2 to check up on me and answer questions. As the miserable days wore on, she arrived to give me nausea preventing shots in my derriere and give me tips on how to feel better. She always remembered which bum she'd poked the time before and, even after I started feeling great, called just to make sure. She's on board for Round 2 and I know she'll be there to help me out again, should I need it.
Bunny is also an RN - retired so she says - but lives in South Carolina and her primary duty is the cleaning and maintenance of the wonderful condo we bought last year. She's been another lifeline of information, encouragement and duties 'above and beyond' as she looks after all and sundry related to my sometimes less than stellar tenants who break things, leave a mess and lock things that shouldn't be locked. As she tells me, 'if I can't fix it myself, I'll find someone who will!' She's already informed me that she'll be on board in her RN role when we visit in October and has lined up one of 'her' Drs just in case I need anything while I'm away. I bless the woman every day and wonder if she really is real - but I know she is and I can't wait to see her again with her great humour and my favourite southern drawl.
My sister Laura and daughter Sara have taken it upon themselves to be my 'family' nursing staff. Laura is the doer of all things that need doing - cooking, bringing me meds, taking to appointments, calling every day and making sure everything keeps ticking. Not just for me but for Dave and his mom as well. After her own health issues this winter and spring, we're kind of looking out for each other, it's just her turn at the moment. Sara is the 'nurse to be' and researcher extraordaire keeping me on my toes with my symptoms and meds and coming up with new information and websites when we're scratching our heads over something. With a BUSY almost 2 year old, it's a wonder she has time to sleep but there's never a day without a call or an e-mail to check up on me - and great 'girl' visits when we can. After the wonderful care she gave her Nana in her last weeks, this girl will be a blessing to any patients fortunate enough to get her.
Dan and Laurie are my nutritional consultants and continue to provide me with a fabulous array of good, healthy foods, a juicer which I'm still working my way into, some great reading and advice and unending positive support. How they manage to keep on top of all of this and fuss over me while expecting a baby in the next few weeks and running a wonderful business www.twistedlemon.ca (I'm your mother, I can shamelessly plug it if I want to!) is beyond me but they do and I appreciate it. The ChrisLeen team look after my spiritual well being with books, movie nights, humour and Kathleen is the official 'bling' queen. I'm being supplied with lovely things to wear, makeup tips and endless manicures and pedicures to make me look great when I feel like crap.
All in all, I have decided I have a complete 'Starburst' team surrounding me. Remember those fabulous fireworks as a kid that exploded with a centre burst then a huge array of twinking little constellations surrounding it. That's what I have - a wonderful group of people from all different parts of my life that are there to support, help, cheer and reassure me when I need it. You'll hear of more of them as time goes on but I am grateful and blessed to have each and every one of them in my 'Starburst'!
Sleeping in your own bed is not just for 2 year olds!
Rule #1 - when you are not returning home for the night remember your drugs! Still a novitiate at this pill regimen I forgot to bring my Angel pills with me yesterday and spent the night tossing and turning trying to sleep - albeit in my old room at 94. Between the cat rush hour coming in and out of the room to visit the Cat Man, the different sounds of the city (oh, I'm such a country mouse) and the non-effects of the SleepyTime tea, it was one of those frustrating events. I did, however, replay what was a wonderful day over and over in my mind into the wee hours - from realizing I had not forgotten my glasses halfway to the city and didn`t have to turn around to go get them, to Kathleen`s wonderful charred burgers to Harry Potter 5. Whether the steriods, chemo 'battery acid' or just my plain old garden variety menopause, the night ticked away as I reviewed the wonderful retirement party for Wendy that afternoon. Dave works for one of those rare, lovely companies where employees are more like family, treated with respect and honoured when due - so do I but that`s another story for another day. Dave's actually worked their twice - as have quite a few of the staff. In the 80's, then a brief respite in Corporate Canada, then back 'home' as he calls it. Bob and Susan, the wonderful, caring delightful owners of PI feted one of their own as she reluctantly hung up her Accounts Receivable journals (yes, the original was there for all of us oldies that remember manual journal entries!) to join the land of the retiree. A beautiful day, lots of good friends and food, many funny stories and a tearful farewell on both sides. Wendy will be visiting Jolly Old as her parting gift but I know we`ll see her again at the annual events to catch up on what she`s doing. I`m not the philosophical type. Oh, I try sometimes to get ethereal, deep and thoughtful but I usually forget what Ì`m trying to be philosophical about and go throw in a load of laundry. However, I am endlessly sentimental and shed a tear or two as Bob struggled to say `farewell, not goodbye` to someone he genuinely cares about. A softie is Bob and through this adventure I am honoured to classified as one of `his girls`. He`s seen too many of us go down this road but his humour, big warm hugs and ever present caring are always there in your mind in the worst of times. I honestly feel sad for any woman travelling this road that does not have this kind of support network in her circle. Lucky me.
Remember all those things you worried about every day...?
Hair was one of the biggest events of every day of my life. Being blessed/cursed with thick, curly (no frizzy/wavy would be a better description), I have spent too many hours to count taping my bangs, ironing, straightening, curling, uncurling, perming, streaking, colouring, using orange juice cans to straighten , enough $$ and boxes of 'Curl Free' to build a small subdivision, walking around with a stupid bubble hair cap dryer and a 25' extension cord while talking on the phone (with Dad yelling at me that I'll probably electrocute myself), wearing a hat after said curling to straighten curls - go figure. Needless to say, it all got solved on Wed night when Kathleen and Chris joined us for a lovely BBQ and 'buzz night' to do in advance what nature will do within the next week - rob me of my lovely, frustrating, ' I don't even remember what my real hair looks like' locks. Many laughs, iron hand gripping minutes later, it was all on the floor (made the kitchen actually look like Woodie was still around) and I resembled many of my balding (but highly sophisticated looking) male friends. Still gray at the temples but surprisingly darker in other places - see I really didn't remember it's true colour. Well, they say I have a reasonably shaped head - good thing because that's one thing I can't change. Wanda still sits blissfully waiting for her debut into society but for now - combined with my way cool new specs - this isn't so bad. The only 'oops' moment occured as I was toasting with my requisite scotch realizing that I was also the recipient of my evening sleeping pill. Probably not a good idea unless I wanted to go for a more permanent nap so I passed the scotch along to Dave who forced it down reluctantly. It was the only real alcohol in the house for toasting since we forgot the beer store closed early and had to wash our roast beef down with Beck's non=alcoholic brew. Oh, Kat and Chris did toast my noggin with rum and cranberry which they agreed was quite passable. Well, I'll keep rubbing my bristles for a week or so and lament the day I wake up and it's on the pillow like a delinquent pet allowed on the bed.
The Beat goes on... .and on.... and on....
To paraphrase Melissa Etheridge "I'm not going through chemotherapy to not do what I love. So y'all can come with me or not. I'm having a blast." Ask the kids... I've been bopping around and talking more than in the last 10 years - or since my last friday night visit to Rochdale - you pick. All my Ryersonian friends will know of what I speak. What will I do? Well, the book's still out there (next week to start), refinish some furniture, redesign 2 bathrooms, plan and get quotes for the deck, more wedding planning, ENDLESS baby shopping - and little girl shopping - 2 Old Coots cruises left, planning for Orlando (yeah, hope to see Penny!) and just making it through every third week's treatment. I'm definitely spoiled by this one since after day 6, it's been excellent. I'm a PUF (poor, unemployed friend) but I'll happily meet people for lunch or after work and maybe even see a movie or 2. D. starts his 'travel extravaganza' end Sept (Phoenix), Oct/Nov (Vegas), we're PLANNING on Pawleys for 10 days in Oct with Laura, then Orlando in December. Gotta fill the time somehow!!! That knitting thing keeps surfacing then diving again..... maybe a baby blanket!
There is an Angel and her name is 'Ativan'!
Downers, relaxers, mama's little helper in reverse, call it what you want, it is CALMMMMMMM baby. Wish I'd had this 3 days ago but then I'd never have gotten my eyes checked, had lunch with Sandy, had the oil changed in the Mustang, gone to Walmart, ordered yet another wig (good lord!), bought new glasses, emptied the dishwasher, did 2 more loads of laundry and am getting ready to go with D to pump out the tanks on the motorhome... and that was just today! I may be sorry I got this stuff but it will be sweet dreams tonight I'm sure... maybe I can time my manic phases to accomplish stuff and relax every OTHER day! Hendy, as long as you want your garden tended with a backhoe, I'm in.. don't think I have the patience for tender care! LOL.
I think I'll dig a hole for a pool......hmmmm,
That's how much energy I have. I was advised that week 2 would knock me flat with fatigue and succeptibility to germs. Well, I'm so flippin antsy I COULD dig a pool - Olympic sized. Spent the day with Sara shopping (yes, lots of hand santizer), indulged in a McDonald's Angus Burger (mmmmm, burger - yes I KNOW it's not healthy but I wanted one) and have since cleaned my solar lamps, trimmed 2 bushes, clipped the cats toenails, done all my banking and answered a bunch of e0mails. Am I the poster girl for fatigue? Anyone want their house painted, their driveway sealed or their roof done? I'm your girl! Maybe it won't last and I won't be able to drag my sorry bum out of bed tomorrow but I'm getting as much done today and possible. Anyone who knows me knows that this is NOT my character... I'm pretty much the president of the 'Nap every afternoon Club' - not any more! Hmmm, what can I do now?>>>>>
Sunny Days, oh them sunny, sunny days...
Yep, feeling much better. Laura,Sara, Kathleen,Chris and I did the baby shower for Laurie, Dan and the girls today. Great time! Good friends, good food and lots of great presents and good wishes for the family in waiting. Great to see Pat and John after their midadventure with the car at Woodward and Glen roared in on his new bike and took all the girlies for a ride - poor guy.
Dan and I had a weepy moment when I gave him a pretty little sweater my mom (his Nana) made for him as a baby - he'll be a great Dad and we already know Laurie's a fabulous mom. Matt, Vanessa, Les and everyone else, thanks for coming. I know it meant a lot to them and I felt bad I didn't stay long enough to finish the cleanup but I'm pretty pooped. All my best get well wishes to Bev for a speedy recovery - we missed you all today - glad you're OK. As Melanie Wilkes said 'the best days are the days that babies come'!!! C'mon Little Lemon, we're all waiting.
Dan and I had a weepy moment when I gave him a pretty little sweater my mom (his Nana) made for him as a baby - he'll be a great Dad and we already know Laurie's a fabulous mom. Matt, Vanessa, Les and everyone else, thanks for coming. I know it meant a lot to them and I felt bad I didn't stay long enough to finish the cleanup but I'm pretty pooped. All my best get well wishes to Bev for a speedy recovery - we missed you all today - glad you're OK. As Melanie Wilkes said 'the best days are the days that babies come'!!! C'mon Little Lemon, we're all waiting.
And the winner is!!!!!... Gravol!!!
Whodathunkit! I finally gave up and asked the good old drug store man if I could take some since it works so well for me for other things. 'Sure' he said, it won't hurt so give it a try. I almost took him home and offered him a beer! With the toxic soup already scooting through me, how bad can it be... poison, nah... finally feel human again. Laundry, dinner, weeding, watering plants, online banking,.... hey, it was easier being sick~ NOT!!! I'm looking forward to seeing EVERYONE tomorrow at the baby shower. Can't believe Little Lemon's almost here!
Sheesh, let's try something else.
The good old pharmacist suggested Gravol, so i'll give it a whirl. Better today though. forced myself out to get beer, the cake for the shower tomorrow, a lottery ticket (I'm due) and stopped in for some Rollo ice cream at Grackle coffee house in S'berg. Can't be that bad if ice cream makes it better! Amanda says hello to all that know! Cmon Gravol, do your stuff.
Enough, already
Tired of feeling like this - my own little pity party at the moment. don't need to feel like I could run a marathon but non-queasy would be fine. More sticks in the bum I guess and hope tomorrow's better.
Rocky road - good for ice cream only.
Well, another day, another shot in the butt from my angel nurse Mary Lynn. It sure worked yesterday so HOPEFULLY today is the end of this crummy nausea just hovering in the background. Reminds me of my infrequent experience with morning sickness so many years ago. But, like that, Im sure it will go away. Probably won't answer the phone much today but thanks for all the good thoughts and wishes. My private sect'y/nurse Laura is screeening my calls and enjoying talking to everyone - she says nobody ever calls her! Can't wait to see everyone a the shower Sunday.
Damn, I hate rollercoasters!
One day down, one up, won down. Not so great today - kind of 'low grade' flu-ish. Not horrible but yesterday was definitely better. Well, I'll wander into the den and try and watch some Olympics, probably get another fix of Baby Story and Wedding Story (oh my God!) and dive into the 2nd Shoppaholic book if I feel better. Determined to make my daily trek down to the mailbox so I don't feel like a hermit and hope that tomorrow's better yet again. Blech...
Day One.... done...
Well, I won't lie and say it was pleasant. Laura and I had a fine time at the initital treatment. They sure look after you well and cater to your every need. Was OK until about 3pm then it started to go downhill. However, my fighting team super hero team of Zofran, Decadron and Stemetil finally started to kick in after about 7 so I did manage to get some sleep and feel a bit more human this morning. I will never turn up my nose, however, to anyone who does not appreciate the benefits of 'back end medication' if you get my drift! I don't think I will ever be able to stand the smell of food let alone eat it for the rest of my life judging by how I feel today. Hopefully that will pass or I'll be back in a size O before I know it. Day by day, I guess and hopefully tomorrow will be the last lousy one.
Things you never imagined you'd do!
Losing all your hair and buying a wig is definitely on the top of the list... right up there with meeting Harrison Ford and Pierce Brosnan - although meeting either of them would be much more pleasurable but certainly not as funny. However, choosing a 'cranial prosthesis' (no, I'm not kidding) is definitely more fun with your daughters in tow as critics. It is slightly depressing when they look better in the lids than you do but 30 years does make a difference. However, Wanda the Wig and I are now companions. She's still resting comfortably in her box and I walk by it each time thinking 'will I or won't I' try it on. Trust me, having natural hair as short as a Jack Russel does not make it easy when choosing a replacement. Most 'hair alternatives' - why they just can't call it a wig or a hairpiece is beyond me - either look like what the old lady down the street used to wear to church or are trying to imitate JLo. Hmmm, not for me. However, Wanda does take me back to the not-so-long-ago when I actually did wear my hair slightly longer and, blissfully, minus the gray. She definitely needs a trip to the groomer for a clip and I have to remember to get the ear pieces on right or I'll look a bit like Cousin IT. Haven't donned it for Dave yet, though if he laughs or gives me one of those 'looks' I'll make him wear her! I actually looked pretty good with her on my noggin wearing Kathleen's glasses but I couldn't see 4 feet so I may have to invest in a new, jazzier pair to complement Wanda to the max. Kathleen demanded her specs back, selfish kid. Well, probably another 10 days or so until I do the the 'GI Jane' buzz and escort Wanda to her deserved spot as my cranial companion. I'm sure we'll have many lovely moments to share... if only I can figure out a way to keep her lashed to my lid with the top down on my car. More to come....
5 Days to go
Well, I'm hoping that this is a good idea to be able to keep all of you who want to know how my chemo adventure is progressing. It's been a great boost to me to know that the people that mean the most to me are actually interested in being part of my journey. And that's what it will be... complete with hills, valleys, sunshine, rain and everything in between. Keep popping by and see what rambling thoughts have made it from my head to the page on any given day and don't be afraid to join in. I may not answer right away if I'm extraordinarily busy sleeping, reading or doing something else just as taxing but I'm looking forward to keeping in touch this way. Until I get the rhythm of this thing down, I'll probably not be phoning much.
Just to bring everyone up to date, my first (dreaded) chemo treatment is on Mon Aug 11 in the morning. To date, I've had every test possible (all good results!) and had a port-a-cath put in yesterday. I'm a junkie's nightmare with miserable little veins (yes, I was fired by the Red Cross and told to never come back to give blood again) that go into hiding every time they see a needle. My little port-buddy is under my skin just above my heart on the left side and will be my friend through the next year or so for putting stuff in and taking stuff out. Look ma, no hands!
I've read as much as I can about my treatments so I think I'm prepared - probably for the worst but I hope it's like labour... the stories get worse the more they're told. I'm a pretty tough nut so, with the right combination of meds, vitamins, good food & natural stuff I'm hoping it won't be too bad.
Anyway, stay tuned and check in when you can. I promise that this won't look like a medical journal. I'll be making sure that all the other exciting things in my life take priority here.
Thanks for dropping by!
Just to bring everyone up to date, my first (dreaded) chemo treatment is on Mon Aug 11 in the morning. To date, I've had every test possible (all good results!) and had a port-a-cath put in yesterday. I'm a junkie's nightmare with miserable little veins (yes, I was fired by the Red Cross and told to never come back to give blood again) that go into hiding every time they see a needle. My little port-buddy is under my skin just above my heart on the left side and will be my friend through the next year or so for putting stuff in and taking stuff out. Look ma, no hands!
I've read as much as I can about my treatments so I think I'm prepared - probably for the worst but I hope it's like labour... the stories get worse the more they're told. I'm a pretty tough nut so, with the right combination of meds, vitamins, good food & natural stuff I'm hoping it won't be too bad.
Anyway, stay tuned and check in when you can. I promise that this won't look like a medical journal. I'll be making sure that all the other exciting things in my life take priority here.
Thanks for dropping by!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
