Anyway, today was my first Herceptin/non chemo treatment. Except for the fact that I need to keep remembering that "I" am in mostly in charge of keeping my treatment schedule on track, it went fine. Except for the fact that I waited for bloodwork (which I didn't have to have) and then waited for the Dr. to sign off on the Taxotere (that I've finished), all went smoothly. Next time, I'll make sure I remember to let the desk know exactly what I'm supposed to be getting as soon as I get there - rather than waiting 1/2 an hour only to say "but I'm not suppossed to have that this week", they look it up and say "oh, right". But all I have is time on my hands right now so I can't complain much. When I get back to work it will be more of an issue to try and get the schedule a little less drawn out. Also found out that I really am tired since my blood counts are actually a bit lower than 3 weeks ago - not unusual due to the accumulating effect of the chemo but should start to rebound and move higher over the next 8 weeks, therefore, more energy! I also have low/normal blood pressure (which I've always known) so that doesn't help.
Anyway, enough medical stuff. I met up with Sara and Emily this afternoon and we did a bit more Christmas shopping. Poor M's suffering from the remains of a cold and cough and was fine for the first 1/2 hour but then showed her true 'terrible 2' colours and wasn't having much fun for the rest of the expedition - sitting in the shopping cart is equivalent to torture it seems - she wants to 'me walk' but it's like walking with a darting gekko! Sara had that typical 'frazzled Mom' look on her face, especially after Emily was playing "on the chair/off the chair" in McDonald's (she wanted lunch and then ate nothing!) and ended up on her head upside down between the chair and the wall. No blood or major catastrophe but that signalled the end of our shopping day. At least until the alarm went off when we were leaving and the ancient "Santa-greeter" decided all our stuff needed to be inspected and he disappeared with only 1 of 5 bags for what seemed like forever. Only to say it was OK and when the alarm went off again and not to pay any attention and just keep going.... duh! Hopefully our predicted 'Snowmaggedon' won't be as bad as they say tomorrow and I can head to the mall to maybe even finish????? A story for another day!
So, like, I'm WAITING already?........
Waiting, to feel like myself, whatever that is. I know, I'm dreadfully impatient. I can handle the prickly head, the no eyebrows or eyelashes, the runny nose and eyes. But if anyone knows where my real tastebuds are, can you please return them?
Dave and I spent 4 days in the Land of Mouse (Orlando), just returning in the wee hours today. We had a fabulous trip across Florida just to have dinner at one of our favourite places, Frenchie's Rockaway Grill on the beach in Clearwater. Nothing like watching the sunset and having dinner right on the beach with the warm breeze reminding you that only yesterday you were freezing your butt off! I figure my 'taste-o-meter' is at about 80% but still not enough to risk wasting a good glass of wine or beer just in case. However, the Cajun scallops Dave ordered were pretty good and my beloved grouper sandwich and clam chowder were good enough that I ate most of it. Other things though, still can't cut it and it's sure disappointing when you're all ready for something mouth watering that doesn't taste just quite right. Oh well, I blew all sensibility out of the water and did some major shopping for the babies for Christmas - I love being able to buy spring clothes in December! Orlando's pretty high on the 'tacky' side with everything bowing to the Lord of Disney but you can actually buy stuff without Mickey on it if you look hard enough. We had some fun times with the racing group from Ontario that were at the show and I finally decided that I NEVER want to live in Florida... South Carolina for me all the way. After landing last night after midnight and walking what seemed like from Windsor through the terminal, we finally got home about 2:15am and crashed, but good! I was sorry I didn't have the energy for the drive to Cayuga for the kids Christmas party but we did manage to get to the local market and get a Christmas tree to put up tonight after Dave gets home from hockey - I'll do some pleading and get him to light a fire while we decorate it and then - maybe - I'll start to feel Christmas-y. This week will be my week to get into the spirit, wrap some
presents, write Christmas cards and finish my shopping, I hope! My next Herceptin treatment is Thurs but they tell me there are no side efffects with this stuff on it's own - I'm counting on that! Well, better bring some boxes of decorations upstairs and get ready for the big transformation!!!!
Dave and I spent 4 days in the Land of Mouse (Orlando), just returning in the wee hours today. We had a fabulous trip across Florida just to have dinner at one of our favourite places, Frenchie's Rockaway Grill on the beach in Clearwater. Nothing like watching the sunset and having dinner right on the beach with the warm breeze reminding you that only yesterday you were freezing your butt off! I figure my 'taste-o-meter' is at about 80% but still not enough to risk wasting a good glass of wine or beer just in case. However, the Cajun scallops Dave ordered were pretty good and my beloved grouper sandwich and clam chowder were good enough that I ate most of it. Other things though, still can't cut it and it's sure disappointing when you're all ready for something mouth watering that doesn't taste just quite right. Oh well, I blew all sensibility out of the water and did some major shopping for the babies for Christmas - I love being able to buy spring clothes in December! Orlando's pretty high on the 'tacky' side with everything bowing to the Lord of Disney but you can actually buy stuff without Mickey on it if you look hard enough. We had some fun times with the racing group from Ontario that were at the show and I finally decided that I NEVER want to live in Florida... South Carolina for me all the way. After landing last night after midnight and walking what seemed like from Windsor through the terminal, we finally got home about 2:15am and crashed, but good! I was sorry I didn't have the energy for the drive to Cayuga for the kids Christmas party but we did manage to get to the local market and get a Christmas tree to put up tonight after Dave gets home from hockey - I'll do some pleading and get him to light a fire while we decorate it and then - maybe - I'll start to feel Christmas-y. This week will be my week to get into the spirit, wrap some
presents, write Christmas cards and finish my shopping, I hope! My next Herceptin treatment is Thurs but they tell me there are no side efffects with this stuff on it's own - I'm counting on that! Well, better bring some boxes of decorations upstairs and get ready for the big transformation!!!!
I'm Done!!!
Just a quick note to day that my final chemo treatment is OVER! Kathleen, Dan and Sara came with me today to celebrate this final step in this part of the journey. Oh, and my beautiful little Bear 'Hope' that Jaclyn, Rawyn and Rion gave me was there too to make the day complete. Time now to start the recovery process and get myself back to good health, good emotions and the ability to get back to my friends and family socially! Thanks for all your good wishes, they surely helped along the way!
Filling the void....
Dear Father (or Mother), it's been almost 21 days since my last post. No offence to the Catholics out there. In fact I've always envied them the act of Confession... as a Presbyterian, I never really felt I had something quite so concrete to bare my soul and get some direct forgiveness in person. I'd better stop before I dig the hole any deeper.
It's been an eventful 3 weeks of feeling more tired than I can ever remember, some rough days in the beginning after the treatment, up and down emotions, missed celebrations, wonderful celebrations and, most importantly the run-up to tomorrow - my final chemo treatment. Waaaay back in July when I knew this would be starting I was blase, confident I could withstand anything, anticipating that I'd have a few months to enjoy life, visit with my grandchildren and get some of those neglected projects out of the way. The Goddess of Health has brought me back to earth with a bang and it didn't exactly turn out that way. I've done my share of whining, complaining, crying and whinge-ing - that was my Grandmother's word and I always loved it - 'ach, stop yer winge-ing' in an Irish accent never needed explaining. There are many who have had more difficult experiences than me and I can only say that in my sane moments I thank God and all my lucky stars that it's not been worse than it has. But, never having been sick before, it's taken it's toll and forced me to understand that sometimes you need to get worse to get better. So here I am - the night before the final #6. Grateful that this part of the journey will be over but nervous about 'what's next'. Oh, not the surgery, I can deal with that part of it knowing that it's all for ensuring the best case going forward. But it's the rest of the wondering... did the chemo work? Will I always be wondering 'what's next'? I hope not. I'm generally ridiculously optimistic by nature and hope that, along with my general feeling of 'feeling good' that that is one of the first things to return. Dan's coming with me tomorrow and , hopefully, Sara... Emy has come down with the dreaded pink-eye again so we'll have to see if Sara's able to make it. Whether Kathleen can get the day off is still up in the air. Every one of the kids has been with me at least once and have been pillars of support to me both directly and behind the scenes. Never underestimate the powers of your adult children to know what's going on and ensure things get done. Dave's been my punching bag, shoulder to cry on, nurse, errand boy and strength through all of this as well - he's been holding it all together in some semblance of normalcy when nothing's normal. My sister is right there lurking in the background, ready to drop everything and jump in at a moment's notice. Luckily nothings been drastic enough to have to resort to that. I enjoy our goofy phone conversations and family catchup calls. All my friends keep sending me lovely messages, cards, e-mails and words of encouragement.
So here we go... my committment is to keep my posts from now on about recovery not symptoms and side effects. As Dan and Laurie keep telling me, 'it's all good' and I have lots of positives to look forward to and that's my plan.
And thank you Bob for letting me know that my little article you delightfully included in 'Performance in Motion' has become an international traveller!!!!!
It's been an eventful 3 weeks of feeling more tired than I can ever remember, some rough days in the beginning after the treatment, up and down emotions, missed celebrations, wonderful celebrations and, most importantly the run-up to tomorrow - my final chemo treatment. Waaaay back in July when I knew this would be starting I was blase, confident I could withstand anything, anticipating that I'd have a few months to enjoy life, visit with my grandchildren and get some of those neglected projects out of the way. The Goddess of Health has brought me back to earth with a bang and it didn't exactly turn out that way. I've done my share of whining, complaining, crying and whinge-ing - that was my Grandmother's word and I always loved it - 'ach, stop yer winge-ing' in an Irish accent never needed explaining. There are many who have had more difficult experiences than me and I can only say that in my sane moments I thank God and all my lucky stars that it's not been worse than it has. But, never having been sick before, it's taken it's toll and forced me to understand that sometimes you need to get worse to get better. So here I am - the night before the final #6. Grateful that this part of the journey will be over but nervous about 'what's next'. Oh, not the surgery, I can deal with that part of it knowing that it's all for ensuring the best case going forward. But it's the rest of the wondering... did the chemo work? Will I always be wondering 'what's next'? I hope not. I'm generally ridiculously optimistic by nature and hope that, along with my general feeling of 'feeling good' that that is one of the first things to return. Dan's coming with me tomorrow and , hopefully, Sara... Emy has come down with the dreaded pink-eye again so we'll have to see if Sara's able to make it. Whether Kathleen can get the day off is still up in the air. Every one of the kids has been with me at least once and have been pillars of support to me both directly and behind the scenes. Never underestimate the powers of your adult children to know what's going on and ensure things get done. Dave's been my punching bag, shoulder to cry on, nurse, errand boy and strength through all of this as well - he's been holding it all together in some semblance of normalcy when nothing's normal. My sister is right there lurking in the background, ready to drop everything and jump in at a moment's notice. Luckily nothings been drastic enough to have to resort to that. I enjoy our goofy phone conversations and family catchup calls. All my friends keep sending me lovely messages, cards, e-mails and words of encouragement.
So here we go... my committment is to keep my posts from now on about recovery not symptoms and side effects. As Dan and Laurie keep telling me, 'it's all good' and I have lots of positives to look forward to and that's my plan.
And thank you Bob for letting me know that my little article you delightfully included in 'Performance in Motion' has become an international traveller!!!!!
The light at the end of the tunnell!
5 down, 1 to do. Hard to believe but I'm very glad to be looking at the back end of this adventure. Not that it's done. I'll need to get the Herceptin infusion every 3 weeks but that's a hormone and really has no side effects but for some manageable fatigue. I can build it into my regular schedule. I'll also need to take another pill for up to 5 years but that's OK too. Tired today but just laying around, reading and watching TV between snoozes. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a good day and I can get Miss Daisy to Bradford to get her hair done and out for lunch. Kathleen and Jess are picking Dave up at the airport for me so that is one trip I won't have to make - it sure will be good to have him home. Sara was a star and got me to my treatment, looked after me well and is my general morale booster. Off to the CanAm end of season banquet in Cayuga I hope on Sunday with a chance to see Dan, Laurie, Rion and the girls - that will definitely be a treat. Things are definitely looking better and my goal will be to stay away from all stray bugs over the next weeks.
Nothing like a sunny Sunday to boost your spirits!
AND the Leafs won, AND the Raptors won! Dave's in Las Vegas this week at the automotive industry's biggest trade show of the year and he'll have a great time. He'll probably wear out a pair of shoes but the the friends he'll meet, connections they'll make and general 'car talk' is a once a year event. I'm laying low, trying to keep healthy and prepping my head for Treatment #5 on Thurs. Since being so sick after the last one (though it had nothing to do with the treatment other than making my immune system defenseless) my BRAIN is gearing up for another miserable time. Mind over matter and that's my job this week - not to let it get to me and feel good. Lot's happening over the next weeks to be ready for - Job Skill's 20th Anniversary celebration (I even bought something new to wear when I was away!), the Twisted Lemon 'France' wine class on the 22nd, babysitting my darling grandson on the 15th, 4 birthdays (Chris, today, Sylvia on the 17th (94!!), Laurie on the 21st and Emy on the 30th. Wow, November has ended up being our busiest b'day month! And then, the grand finale I hope, my final chemo session on the 27th... that will be HUGE! As of December 1st, my pledge is to spend no more time talking about my body, how I feel or anything other than what I'm doing to re-energize myself and rebuild my flabby, out of shape self over the next 6 months. As for today, I plan to enjoy some of this sunshine, put away some outside furniture and bask in what's left of fall.
One little step at a time.
Feeling a bit better today. The general achiness and stuffiness from the cold seem to have finally moved off - thank goodness! Still have the problems with my mouth and talking is painful so I don't. My lips would only be alluring to a sex-starved alligator. Dave brought me ice cream and creamsicles last night and made me a protein-packed milkshake so that went down nice and easy. I know he's concerned that I'm not eating but it's just been really hard. Being 'sick' on top of the treatment side effects was not something I'd ever anticipated and it's been tough - but I feel my optimistic self clawing its way to the surface again. It will be SO NICE to be able to get out, maybe see some of my friends, talk to my family on the phone and maybe even GET OUT OF MY PYJAMAS AND TOQUE! Dave will especially be glad to see that I'm sure even though he laughs at the toque - it's his after all!! I feel like Rip Van Winkle though. I came home from vacation, had a treatment, felt icky for a couple of days, then got sick for 10 days and now it's WINTER!!! What the heck happened to fall in the middle? And Friday's Halloween and I don't even have a pumpkin! In all my life I don't ever remember not having a pumpkin for Halloween. Come hell or high water I will get out of this damned house and get one for Friday - even if it's not carved I don't care.
The funniest thing we've been monitoring over the past weeks has been the stupid leaf garland I have hanging around the front door. It looks really nice but likes to fly off in the wind and we then have to figure out where it's landed. It's been at the neighbours, in the pine tree at the end of the yard, under the car and - after last nights bluster and blow - is now wrapped about 20' up in the maple tree BEHIND the house... the thing has a life of it's own and I think will stay there until spring, stupid thing.
Time for another creamsicle. I'm sure next week will be much better so look out! I'll be back!
The funniest thing we've been monitoring over the past weeks has been the stupid leaf garland I have hanging around the front door. It looks really nice but likes to fly off in the wind and we then have to figure out where it's landed. It's been at the neighbours, in the pine tree at the end of the yard, under the car and - after last nights bluster and blow - is now wrapped about 20' up in the maple tree BEHIND the house... the thing has a life of it's own and I think will stay there until spring, stupid thing.
Time for another creamsicle. I'm sure next week will be much better so look out! I'll be back!
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